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Sam Oliver

Sock: You know, if I was the Dark Lord, I would do the exact same thing. I'd have a mistress in every continent on the planet.
Sam: He probably does.
Sock: He probably does, doesn't he?
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Sock: God, he's living the dream. I want to be the Prince of Darkness. No, uh, no, what's below Prince?
Ben: Uh, Duke.
Sock: Duke. I want to be the Duke of Darkness. Maybe could you talk to him for me, set up a little internship, or...?
Sam: No.
Sock: Not even a chance?
Sam: No.

** I tend to be rather slow when it comes to logs, so apologies before hand.
Sam Oliver
31 August 2020 @ 11:53 pm
Here is the ever handy-dandy Critique & Contact post. Have suggestions, questions, or critique for how I play Sam Oliver? Whatever it is, feel free to hit me up on this post. ♥ Comments will be screened.

Also, if you ever need to contact me regarding plotting, dropped, tags, or if just want to get in touch with me -- feel free to give me a poke here, along with any of these contacts:

AIM: along cat is long
Y!M: potatosforpowerwrist
E-mail: aeloriax [at] gmail.com
Personal LJ: ignipotent
Sam Oliver
13 August 2020 @ 05:22 pm

Hey, this is Sam. I've either lost my phone again, left it in my pocket during the wash, or most likely I'm not here. Feel free to leave a message and I'll try to get back to you.

[3] TEXT

Sam Oliver
12 October 2009 @ 08:14 pm
YO DAMIEN! I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish, but—

Sam Oliver is the best spawn of Satan of all time. OF ALL TIME!!

[ the clatter of a communicator as it hits the floor, followed by a harsh buzz of static--]

What the hell was—

Juuuuuust kidding! Funniest one of the day, don't you think? Oh, fuck my life.
Sam Oliver
17 September 2009 @ 11:53 pm
I've never read the bible, not even a single page of the first chapter - whatever it's called, Book of Job? I've never been to church. I've never prayed. In high school, when we read Paradise Lost, I scanned over one paged and then used the book for a coaster. I didn't know what terms like Benediction, Holy Trinity, Anti-Christ, or Salvation even meant.. I didn't even know that a Demon was actually a fallen angel.

And so the story goes, on my 21st birthday I find out my parents sold my soul to the Devil. The real goddamn devil, not some fancy pants metaphor. Yeah, I knew I was fucked. That I'm on course for Hell, even if I've done nothing to deserve it. It wasn't until I came here that started to really realize the truth. To think hard and long about what's waiting for me in the end. Back home, things snapped past me too fast for everything to sink in -- I mean, within a few months of selling my soul, I was buried alive and my Dad with me. He died.

I don't think it's even sank in that he's gone. I didn't have time for that.

But now I have all the fucking time in the world. Time to Breathe. Too much time to think and reflect and imagine what it will be like to burn in hell. Get ripped to pieces or basted or flayed or whatever terrible shit they do down there. I should read Dante's Inferno, shouldn't I?

But to top it off? I get to be the Devil's bounty hunter! Bet you didn't know that. The soul thing, yes. But the Reaper thing? The whole sending back escaped souls with crazy powers back to hell deal? Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Except every time, there's a high chance that I'll be killed. And if I'm killed, guess where I get to go?

It's not something I can put off in my mind. I can't tell myself not to worry and just live the life I've got to the fullest. Even if I wasn't his bounty hunter, Satan still makes sure I know he's there, you know? Ice cream socials. Transporting me to awkward places or for a showing of dead bodies. Or dying bodies. Or appearing in my bed or on my toilet just before I'm about to take a piss. Do you know how many times that bastard has tried to tempt me? He's failed every time, but I wonder- I wonder if what Tony said that night. That night he tried to fucking bury me alive is true. He brought it up too, didn't he?

We're connected irrevocably, and it's something I can't change. Sometimes it's fucking frightening to think about.
Sam Oliver
11 September 2009 @ 11:08 pm
Oh, come on. I didn't even do anything! Sure, I may have put my parking ticket on Ted's car or threw bags of flaming shit at houses when I was fifteen, but I haven't killed anyone.

[ rattling of metal prison bars ]

I'm a good guy, okay! The devil may owns my soul, but that isn't a crime in itself, right? It wasn't my fault-- I mean, this is complete bullshit. You've got mass murderers and idiots that go around bombing City buildings out there, and you put me in jail? Holy shit! What could I do? Try and steal an old guy's cane, only to have him kick me in the balls?

[there's a pause of silence, like the communicator has cut off, only snap on a few minutes later.]

...What? Why? Why would that even- If you ask me, ask anyone here, they would say what I did was a good thing. Good for everyone! The fucking hero always destroys evil in the movies, right? It didn't even work, and in the end I was tri-

[ more rattling of bars ]

Let me out.

[ooc: ... He was in a demon rebellion to murder Satan. Obviously, it didn't work at all. But attempted murder is attempted murder. ]
Sam Oliver
02 September 2009 @ 11:05 pm

First the dogs, the air conditioner, then Satan in my car, now this-

[ a sudden loud FUCK ]

That's it! I really am going crazy. It's the only way to explain this entire fucking day, including the fact that I'm standing by a creepy carousel and fancy water fountain that DOESN'T EXIST IN SEATTLE OR BELLEVUE OR ANYWHERE I'VE EVER BEEN.




i don't even-

I've gone completely off the deep end.

Fuck my life.

[ooc: Procrastination, procrastination. But er, caught the tail-end of today's curse. >_> He's rewound back to the first episode of the series, where he first meets the devil and thinks he's crazy.]
Sam Oliver
21 August 2009 @ 07:05 pm
Put three guys in one apartment with a kitchen, and you're just asking for all hell to break lose. Aside from the few times we've accidentally stove on fire, we've - or more like Sock - have made things that could probably be considered an official health hazard. Or even a chemical hazard.

I'm not talking about Beerios (You know, Beer + Cheerios), aka Breakfast for Rockstars. I'm talking about shit like taking all the leftovers in the fridge, shoving them into a food processor, and using that for a casserole. None of us ate it, by the way. Well, except Sock.

Perhaps the worst monstrosity Sock has ever created is Bacon Coffee. Sure, a strong cup of Joe is good with your usual bacon, eggs, and sausage. But brewing coffee beans with bacon? It was absolutely horrific. And guess what? I managed to save some pictures on my phone, so all of you are in for a treat.

Bacon Coffee | The How - To GuideCollapse )

But why bother bringing this up and making everyone on the network nauseous? Well, I found this on one of the shelves. I can't believe eople actually buy this crap, And I thought Sock was crazy.

...Man, I really miss the guys.

[ooc: Pictures from here.]
Sam Oliver
15 August 2009 @ 06:19 pm
It's refreshing to see people not complaining about the City for once. I realize bitching and moaning is an epidemic here, but come on - the City isn't that bad. Consider it a vacation. Pour yourself a shot of vodka or make yourself a pina colada and relax.

Because you know what? All your problems at home are miles away, stuck in an entirely different universe and (supposedly) frozen in time. Why worry? Sure, it can get sort of boring, but you can't forget about the perks.

Besides, spending your time worrying about the City, means you're wasting your time. Live in the moment! You just never know when someone might just come and screw your future in the ass. You could get hit by a car! Or realize you're- you're...uh, impotent. Or that the entire world has succumbed to a zombie epidemic, and you're the last person on earth. And then your glasses break.

Okay, maybe not so much the last one. But you get what I'm saying - I'm happy to be here in the City. It's not that bad.

I've also realized something else today. My job back home doesn't completely suck. Instead being a waste of space, I'm actually doing some good for the world...even if it's sort of weird.

...There's a curse today, isn't there? Why else would I be blabbing like it's 3:00 AM at the bar. Why did I say that-

[ooc: Gotta go to dinner! Mom's birthday. I'll reply to tags once I get back. ♥]
Sam Oliver
10 August 2009 @ 11:53 pm
Since this place is like a communal toilet for brain spew, there probably is someone here who has good advice. Like girls, for instance, who understand the complicated, inner mechanisms of the female mind.

So here's how the story goes: My girlfriend dumped me.

I need advice on how to win her back. This is the girl I've loved since high school - the girl who I survived a car crash with and who's ex-boyfriend went Freddie Krueger on me. We've been through escaped souls and demons thick and thin together, and I'm not just going to let everything fall apart because of something completely out of my control.

You see, it wasn't like I cheated on her or we had a dysfunctional relationship. The problem is that she doesn't like who I was spending time with. Particularly, my parental  Fathe family. How am I supposed to fix that? I can't just cut ties with them, as much as I would like to.

It seems like an all-around impossible situation, but I can't let her go

...Why am I putting this up on the network, anyways?

private to deities | unhackable (unless you're really tech savy)Collapse )